1. I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
2. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
3. The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.
4. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
5. I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
6. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
7. If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.
8. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
9. I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

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